I didn’t know one word could be so powerful.

Or maybe I did.

Maybe I did know this thing about words. That especially if you’re a word person, but maybe even if you’re not, a word can get inside you, and it can change things.

I started 2013 with the one word resolution, AWAKE. I wrote it in all caps because I felt so dang sleepy, I wanted to shout at myself. I felt like I was out of tune with the rhythms of everything. I felt like I was sleeping through my life.

…fast forward…

So then I moved out onto this land and got a rooster and a house with cloth walls and was super annoyed when the rooster woke me up so dang early.


…fast forward…

And then it got to be the end of the whole year and now I wake up before the rooster. Now I wake up before the light. About every other day I wake up at 2:30 in the morning, just to write.

You guys…I’m pretty dang awake.

We all know the fairy tale about Sleeping Beauty, right? We all know how she waits for her prince to kiss her so she can pop up out of her eternal sleep and live her life? Today, in that princess story, I see all of us. Men, women, whatever. I see all of us who are waiting for somebody to come and tell us that it’s time.

Hey, psst…it’s time.

I found my way out of the princess story. Take that, underlying cultural narrative…! KaBAM! I felt around in the darkness long enough and I sprung the latch. I sat right up in my coffin and pushed aside the lid and oh, holy night, those stars are bright and shining.

I have come now, to this point of faith…that there are signals all around us that tell us when it’s time. There are the ancient rhythms of dawn and dusk and light and dark and seasons, and these are enough to set a clock by. And never fear it could be otherwise, the clockmaker works on each of us from the inside out.

In my Year of AWAKE,

I prayed my way through a day of holy hours.

I posted my brave about sin and sex and jealousy and hating Christians.

I got as close as I dared to the wild of my wild woods and the hungry darkness of the moon.

And grieved my privilege

These few days between the old year and the new we hang in the space of reverie and reflection…

These days, we reflect.

{{Old year – new year. Old self – new self. Skin shifting. Pause in metamphosis.}} 

I find it good.

“Awake! For morning in the bowl of night/Has flung the stone that puts the stars to flight…” 

— Omar Khayyam

Happy dawn, and happy day, and happy New Year!!